One of the greatest mysteries to me is God. Who is God? What is God? Am I God? is God Separate from me… Or am I God suffering from Amnesia. These are questions that boggle my mind constantly. AT the beginnings of my spiritual journey, I was very angry at God, in fact, I think it was one of the major components that broke me from organized religion. I came from suffering and from a humble background, I believed God was drastically unfair to the third-world countries especially Nigeria. I grew up with devout faithful and loyal Christians, I grew up with people who had incredible spirit. And I saw them languish in lack. We all languished in lack. I blamed God a lot for having the power to stop evil and refusing to interfere.
As my spiritual journey progressed, I realize there was no God and chaos is the order of the day. it made logical sense to me to rationalize the absence of divinity to explain a cruel world. It made sense that the reason why children are being starved to death in Africa is because there was no one up there listening to the platitudes of prayers being offered by the local people. This explanation made sense to me. And I rode that atheist wave, it wasn’t as a burden as believing there was a God… but at least at this time I could rationalize and say… Bad things happen in life because In life sometimes Bad things just happen no divine intervention needed.
However, as I grew spiritually and I aided the expansion of my consciousness by dabbling in psychedelics… Certain truths began to resonate with my being… I was not Angry at God! I was Angry at myself…. While it was easy to blame a separate Entity for the cruelty of this world… I realize I was the God I blamed… I was the Deaf ears, mothers were praying too…. I Look at starving children and I sScreamingreeming at me… BECOME THE GOD YOU BLAME!
TO be Continued…. Nap time